Johns Are Friends Not Food (Continuation)
by Slippery Tummy
Summary: John has always been bullied at his school, neglected at home, and is rather depressed. However his best friend Dave just moved into town... and people want him dead. Depressed!John and Vampire!Dave. Pepsicola, with a few other ships. Rated T for idiotic Teenagers. This is a re write and continuation of saltymastermemester's fantastic story, credit goes to them.
1. Chapter 1

JAFNF

Prologue

Short, businesslike high heels clicked on a tiled floor. A woman stopped at a doorway, and took a breath. Suddenly, her caucasian skin tone and short blonde hair changed. The woman's legs extended, and her dress seemed to become a skintight, black and pink bodysuit, while her hair turned black and long. Her suddenly grey-skinned hands hit a panel on the wall, and a mechanical hum sounded as the door slid open. The now monstrous figure power walked down the hallway, her steps growing harder in her anger. The siren took a breath as she passed by one door, then another. Upon reaching her destination, the half-fish woman's eyes narrowed, then promptly began to glow. Suddenly, the too short door in front of her blew apart, and she walked in. Significantly shorter people in labcoats all jumped at once, and shook in fear, especially when her pink lips curled into a frown. Betty Crocker felt her neatly manicured hands close around a trident that appeared in midair, and she barely had to see the daemons under her to feel their fear. They'd been at this for years, and despite the tests and thousands of dollars spent working towards their cause, their guess was wrong again, and now another useless half- monster existed in their world. At this point, she didn't care who was responsible for the mistake- she glared at the trembling workers below her, and it was clear that before the day was over, at least one of them would die.

JAFNF Chapter 1

(Wednesday, August 4th)

==== Be the nerdy shy kid.

The raven-haired boy sighed, slumping down in his seat a little more. He scanned the room with his eyes, groaning when he found that his teacher was still not present. The guy was almost ten minutes late. And biology was this young man's favorite subject! The kid sighed and rested his head on his arms. Everyone was talking- no, screaming, and their constant chatter drove him insane. The boy closed his eyes, only comforted by the pitch-black solitude that surrounded him. Unfortunately, it didn't last long, and he sat up at the sound of the door opening.

The ink haired kid squinted as a boy, a few inches taller than him, came striding in. The boy's hair was an extremely light shade of blonde that usually disappeared once children grew older than the age of four. He was golden tan, the male version of a stereotypical California girl, which felt ridiculous to the native Washingtonian. He had the oddest cluster of freckles adorning the center of his poker face, and a strange pair of sunglasses covering his eyes and eyebrows. The sunglasses he wore looked familiar, but John didn't remember why. The boy had probably seen a similar brand somewhere, at one point. They didn't really matter though. His skinny jeans looked excessively tight, and his shirt was bland- a long sleeve shirt with red sleeves, a white torso, and a strange broken record symbol in the center. He became "Tool number 3" and John ignored him in favor of listening to the instructor. "Sorry for being late, class! I had a run in with our new student, but he's too stubborn to remove his glasses. We're going to be playing the greeting game!" He stated, earning a groan from everyone, even the raven-haired boy. Clearly, the teacher didn't care, or was oblivious to the student's dislike of his ice breaker. "Since you're new to our class, I'll explain. The greeting game is when we go around and introduce ourselves, along with one of our hobbies or interests." The teacher explained, but the albino kid just stared at him, making no sign of emotion through his poker face. The teacher, undeterred, smiled again. "I'll go first. My name is Jake English, and I love biology! Your turn!" The kid shuffled before turning his face in the direction of the class. "Uh, okay? My name's Dave-" girls whispering to each other and swooning cut him off. "Strider?" Came his last name, and he sounded confused at their reaction to his voice. "And I like to rap." He muttered, then returned his hands to his pockets. Mr. English beamed. "Fantastic! Okay Mr. Egbert, it's your turn." The raven-haired kid sighed and rearranged his glasses.

"I'm John Egbert-" "Egderp!" Someone shouted, and John glared in the general direction of the interruption. All of the kids here were terrible, and John suddenly wasn't in the mood to tolerate the new kid, who'd likely be shouting similar comments soon enough. "And that's all you need to know about me." He said, emphasizing the "you" in his words. The blonde kid's- Dave's- poker face partially broke and he lifted his eyebrows. John could just barely see them over his large sunglasses. Mr. English sighed, but moved on to the next person. John took one last fleeting glance at the tool across from him. It was quite the coincidence that his name was Dave, much like his friend on pester chum. Then again, not really. David was a common name. He sighed and laid his forehead farther down on his desk, so that he could pull his phone out without getting in trouble. He quickly opened his pester chum app and checked for TurntechGodhead. He wasn't on, so John just left him a message for later.

-ectoBiologist (EB) began pestering turntechGodhead (TG)-

EB: dave! :B

EB: theres a new dave in my class!

EB: so I can see a dave but talk to another dave.

EB: wow too many daves

EB: but I doubt we'll be friends like me and you…

EB: he looks like a douche

EB: anyhow I'm sure you're super busy with your bro and stuff

EB: do you even go to school?

EB: I doubt you do

EB: too busy with puppets or something

EB: …

EB: bye!

-ectoBiologist (EB) ceased pestering turntechGodhead (TG).-

After a few minutes without a response, John locked his phone and looked up at the teacher again. "Okay Dave, since everyone has introduced themselves, you can take the empty seat next to Karkat." Mr. English motioned to the brunette, who looked up, gave the teacher his middle finger, then went back to drawing (badly) on the desk. Dave- who John noted was still staring at him, shrugged and moved into the seat. John had to suppress a groan when he realized the seat was directly in front of his. John already predicted what would happen. He'd become friends with Karkat, and by extension Caliborn, the two banes of his existence. They would proceed to mess with him constantly, and make the remainder of the year more of a nightmare than it already was. He was less than a week into the school year, and once again, it seemed like the world still had it out for John Egbert. The blonde kid was partially blocking his view of the door, and John had to twist in his seat to see the board. Dave instantly slumped down in the chair, checking his texts on the phone and adjusting his sunglasses, from what John could tell. The raven-haired boy honestly didn't care, and sighed in relief when he was able to see the board again. After a minute, Dave straightened and turned in his seat to look at John through his glasses. He seemed to be staring into his soul, and John cringed and tried to avoid looking at his face when his mouth curved into a frown.

"Aw man. Do I really look like that much of a douche?" He questioned. John looked at him, confusion clear in his face.

"What?" Dave sighed and looked down at his phone. Apparently, he didn't care that he risked drawing the class's attention. After verifying that the words were indeed there, he pushed his phone near John's face.

"EB said I look like a douche." John blinked uncomprehendingly. There were his words, written in blue. Realization and horror controlled his features as he stuttered.

"T-Turntech Godhead?" The albino smirked.

"That's me, Dave Strider in the flesh. No doubt I'm as cool as you expected." He spoke, his added wink invisible due to his shades.

"What are you doing here?" John asked, bewilderingly looking from the phone to the taller male in front of him. Dave shrugged nonchalantly.

"My bro got some new DJ job in this town. He seemed like he was kind of in a hurry to get here, so we packed up our shit over night and moved, which lead me to your school, looking like a douche." He stated, raising an eyebrow in concern at his friend's face. "You okay there, John?"

"Oh." John breathed out. "I'm okay, I guess I'm just kind of- in shock?" He blabbered, feeling awful. His words were inaudible, but he didn't notice or care. Here Dave was, his best friend, and he judged him on looks alone. He had always wanted to meet his friends in real life, yet now he didn't. Or he did, but not as a surprise? That was probably it. John decided. Dave's smirk returned to his face. He apparently didn't notice John's internal crisis.

"In shock huh? The Strider family tends to have that affect on everyone. The ladies usually have their breaths taken away by me- It's a shame that I don't have time for them." Dave stated dramatically, propping his head on John's desk. His words hardly permeated John's brain, and he felt awful for judging his best friend. He had to apologize, and make it right.

"You-You don't look like a douche." John said quietly, avoiding Dave's face again, this time in favor of looking at the ground. In response, Dave just grinned.

"Fuck if I care, as long as I'm the coolest douche." Dave laughed, drawing John's attention- not that he didn't have it already. "We both already know I am, John." He said, instantly shrugging it off. John smiled, feeling relieved as he looked up at him again, and pulled his sleeves up a little.

"Thanks Dave, and yeah, maybe sometimes." John fell quiet for a minute, and he looked at the boy in front of him. He wanted to marvel at his best friend's presence, but he noticed the boy's face, and looked up suddenly. "Can I ask you a question?" Dave looked back at him coolly, and replied.

"Sup Egbert?" John played with his jacket strings, but looked at him directly in the face as he asked.

"Why don't you want to take you sunglasses off?" He asked, and John saw panic flash across his features for a split second. Immediately after that, Dave's poker face returned to its original stoic state.

"Because I'm clearly a very hot guy, and my eyes are so hot that they'd burn you, laser vision style." He said, smirking to make it seem like a joke. John laughed at the obvious lie, and he wanted a real answer, but Dave's words distracted him before he could request one. "So, since you, aka my best bro is here, we're obviously going to hang out at my place after school, right?" He said, smirking and staring at John through his sunglasses. John had to hide a cringe. He was going to go hang out, with Dave. Although he was super excited, he hadn't been to anyone's house since preschool, and that was on a forced play date with his father's coworker. Still though, he had been waiting for an opportunity to hang out with Dave, Rose, and/or Jade for a couple of years now and there was no way he could say no. John felt himself warm to the idea almost instantly, and his response showed it.

"Sure!" He said excitedly. Dave laughed. "Slow down boy, don't you need to ask your dad first?" John's excitement disappeared, and Dave immediately regretted his words.

"Not really, he's never really home." John looked down, a little anger in his tone. "And when he is home, he never talks to me anyway. You know that Dave." John's voice seemed genuinely upset, and the boy habitually pulled his sleeves down. Dave regretted mentioning the sensitive topic- usually, he would have filtered himself a little more on pester chum. An apology was in order, and Dave felt no qualms about offering one.

"Oh man, I'm sorry, I forgot. It's just weird seeing you here, or in real life I guess." He explained his mistake, and John clearly understood. Before they could pause in conversation for too long though, Dave spoke up in excitement. "But I guess that means you're going to the Strider home tonight! I mean, we're not completely unpacked and shit, but it's still cool." John opened his mouth to respond when a throat clearing sound came from the front of the room.

"Mr. Strider. I don't mean to interrupt you, but we're well into the start of class." Mr. English said, a stern, if slightly effeminate hand placed on his hip. The class giggled, for no other reason than the fact that they were all stupid high school kids, but for once, the sound didn't bother John. He finally had an actual, real life friend.

AN: Hello everyone! I hope you enjoyed (or at least didn't completely hate) this first chapter! Thank you so much Saltymastermemester for letting me continue the story, you're the best! Expect a variety of updates, and OFTEN ones, at that. I'm always looking for ways to improve my writing, (constructive criticism is totally fantastic!) so leave a review! I mean, if you want. You don't have to. I mean, I can't force you to do that, nor would I if I had that ability, but it would help a lot. Oh, and expect like 2 chapters a week, or like 4 if the chapters are 4 pages long. But, they get longer as the story goes on. Yeah. It's just formatting it on AO3 and FFN that's gross, but whatever. Also, I ask questions sometimes at the end of chapters, because I love getting to know who's reading, and other members of the fandom. So, I'll start easy. What's your sign, and are you like the ((beta)) troll it represents? If so, what attributes do you share? Okay, I'm done for now. Have a nice day!

ST OUT!


	2. Chapter 2

JAFNF Chapter 2

(Wednesday, August 4th)

Dave sat in his desk, and faced the front of the room. It took every second of work he put into maintaining his poker face over the years to keep him from breaking out into a dopey grin. He had to stop himself from twisting in his seat just to confirm again that yes, John Egbert was right here, right now. He was excited as humanly, or vampire-ly possible. After wading through class after class all day, he finally reached the end of the metaphorical rainbow, and grabbed the pot of gold. The pot of gold was, of course, John Egbert, and though he had no intention to grab him, Dave did want to hang out with him.

Turntech Godhead (TG) began pestering Ecto Biologist

TG: Hey John

TG: Pst

TG: Guess what?

TG: Come on, I know you can see me texting you.

EB: Geez Dave, I'm trying to listen

EB: But what?

TG: Hi.

EB: Dave I'm listening to Mr. English again.

Ecto Biologist (EB) ceased pestering Turntech Godhead (TG).

He couldn't wait to give Rose the good news, or Jade. In fact, as John took actual notes, a practice he'd seen kids doing all day and found boring, he decided he would do something more interesting with his time. While he did want to talk to John, and didn't care what most of these blood filled hormone sacs, otherwise known as high schoolers thought, he did care about what his friend wanted. Dave always pictured him as the type of kid that cared about school, and even with his best friend in front of him, he apparently still cared about it. So, the blonde respected his wishes.

However, he did not attempt to insinuate that he cared about whatever the teacher had to say. He didn't come to school to learn, he came to talk and hang out, and that's what Dave would do. So far, he'd only met one person that looked the slightest bit interesting, besides John. He heard people whisper when he came near, and frankly, he didn't care what they had to say. So, while the teacher rambled about 'Adams', or something, Dave pulled out his cell phone. He didn't hide it under his desk, or take out notebook paper, or anything else most of the kids in the room did.

Instead, he sent a quick text to Rose. Dave knew Jade would be asleep right now, but it probably wasn't that late in New York.

TurntechGodhead (TG) began pestering Tentacle Therapist (TT).

TG: Hey, Rose.

TG: You'll never guess what kind of crazy shenanigans I've gotten myself into.

TG: Shit's like a kid's cartoon in here, because I'm meeting all my main characters in the first episode of Dave's high school adventure.

The response came immediately, and he could practically see the half amused, partially curious, and slightly condescending not-quite-a-smile on Rose's face.

TT: Considering you've started school recently, it's only befitting to assume that it involves yourself, and perhaps another student.

TT: David, have you managed to make a friend through that cool guy inferiority complex of yours?

Dave suppressed a snort. Of course Rose guessed it, she always did.

TG: Nah, I made the friend nine years ago.

TG: I just managed to find him today.

TT: Well, color me impressed. That's quite the daring move, Dave, to travel all the way to Washington State just to meet John at his high school.

TG: See, here's the thing, it just happened on accident.

TG: Out of all the states Bro could have chosen, he chose this one, and out of all the houses zoned into all the public high schools, he chose the one in maple valley.

TG: Plus, I just happen to share a class with him. Crazy luck, huh?

TT: Dave, even on an ironic level, we both know everything happens for a reason. Don't attribute this magnificent twist in fate towards the idea of a mere coincidence.

TG: Yeah, whatever you and your dark magic tentacle gods say, Rose.

TG: Anyway, we're going to be throwing down sick beats today, because I invited John to the new-and-improved Strider residence.

TG: Or, just new and not an apartment, with zero shit unpacked. Whatever, hopefully it means fewer strifes.

TT: Did you not tell me that your home had a wide, flat roof?

TG: Hey, let a guy sit in a few nice minutes of denial. At least it's not as high up as the Huston apartment, that shit was anime level death defying.

TT: Yes, your brother does seem to have an affinity for Japan.

TG: It's ironic.

TT: Denial is the first stage, brother dearest.

Dave actually did snort at the words 'brother dearest'. Her words were a reference to an inside joke from when they were thirteen. Since then, Dave referred to her often, using varying terms of sisterly endearments, but they were entirely a joke. That said, he still did care for Rose a lot, even if their atypical banter didn't show it. He'd known her as long as he'd known Jade, and almost as long as he knew John. They had been close friends for years, and despite living in different states, the four of them kept in touch constantly.

TG: Sure, turn the coolest day ever into a chance to analyze me, real smooth.

TG: Anyway, the teacher keeps glaring at me, and I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to be paying attention to whatever the hell he's saying.

TT: That's usually the primary objective of school, yes.

TT: And usually, when people blatantly ignore a person that's talking, they have an odd habit of getting upset.

TT: I would give you the benefit of the doubt, considering that you lack a lot of experience dealing with people, but let's be honest.

TT: You would ignore him either way.

TG: Right again, Rosie. Can any of my mannerisms escape your all seeing, sixteen year old eye?

TT: While the flattery is appreciated, I'm positive you have better things to look forward to. Really though, you should attempt to pay attention to your teacher, Dave.

TG: How can I? You're so distracting.

TG: Makes it hard for a guy to focus, when you're so busy picking apart my brain.

TT: Need I remind you who initiated the conversation? But let's not be childish. At least look like you're paying attention, David.

TG: Why? This guy over sitting next to me doesn't seem to give a shit. He's not even taking notes, he's just doodling on his notebook paper.

It was true, he was. The short kid that sat next to him had his brow furrowed, like he was eternally angry. Despite Dave's sunglasses, he apparently noticed Dave's glance on him. The guy didn't even turn around. Instead, he looked at him out of the corner of his eye, and mouthed the words 'fuck off', then continued drawing badly. Well, this guy's drawings definitely weren't as good as the girl's he saw in the previous period, but he definitely got Dave's attention. The almost albino smirked, and looked in his bag. Maybe he had a use for that notebook paper after all. First though, he wrapped up his conversation with Rose.

TT: Yes, and saying 'he did it too' is definitely the most mature way to handle a situation, David.

TG: Hold on Rose, I gotta take a break from your casual insults/ advice.

TT: Don't tell me, you're actually going to start paying attention?

TG: Nope, the kid just told me to fuck off.

TT: That poor soul. Well, be sure to inform me how thoroughly you've obliterated this boy tomorrow, Dave. I actually have some school work to finish, and I would prefer to uphold my title as 'the smart one'. Good luck.

TG: See you, sis.

TurntechGodhead (TG) ceased pestering Tentacle Therapist (TT).

After laying his phone on his desk, he searched for a sheet of notebook paper, and did the most ironic thing he could in the situation. Dave Strider wrote and passed a note to the boy, who raised an eyebrow after receiving it. He saw the corner of the boy's lips turn up as he read over its contents, and he held his pencil once again. The vampire smirked when he saw him write words, and his face wanted to turn up into a shit eating grin when he saw the page returned to him. He read over his note again, and looked down to the other guy's.

 _Hello there, other person who clearly doesn't give a shit what the guy up front has to say. I noticed you mouthed a phrase at me, but my poor light obscured, sunglasses covered eyes missed it. Could you do me the honor of transcribing your words onto this sheet of paper, so I can understand the great wisdom you've imparted upon me?_

-Nintendo DS.

The boy next to him read it, a little surprise and annoyance clear on his features. Dave never knew that people could write things on paper angrily, but as he watched the boy next to him, that certainly seemed like what he did.

I said fuck off, Strider. If you want to stare at something, you can burn your 'poor, light obscured, sunglasses covered shit stain eyes' out by staring right back at your phone, or looking up at the teacher, who's been burning holes in your head since the start of the fucking class period. Unless you're pathetic enough to find the bored doodles of a high schooler that's counting down the minutes until he can leave this human cesspool of teenage angst and hormones behind that fucking interesting, I suggest you stop watching me, you walking, talking, slack jawed California girl stereotype. Seriously, keep the eyes up front, or at least off me, you creepy bastard.

\- Karkat Vantas.

Dave read the note and smirked. So his name was Karkat, apparently. This guy seemed like he was okay, if not extremely easily angered. At the very least, he'd be fun to piss off- and Dave definitely appreciated anyone that could find a way to curse this creatively after just catching a glance.

 _Sorry, shorty. I was just so completely encapsulated in your giant eyebrow beauty that I couldn't help but let my gaze linger on you. On a serious note though, anyone who can insult someone that many times in note form has to be the slightest bit interesting. I'll be sure to let my eyes avoid you like the plague, for all your seating comforts. Also, I'm not from California, I'm from Texas. They're pretty much the same, but one has Hollywood, and the other has middle aged- beer drinking men that ear family sized bags of Doritos alone while watching TV and deciding against moving all day._

Dave sent the note back to Karkat, and didn't watch his reaction. However, a few minutes later, he got his response.

Please, I didn't ask about your fucking sad backstory, Dr. Doof. But I will say I'm a little curious, because your name wasn't even on the role call shit for the past few days. How the fuck did you get here, and when?

Dave wrote his next response in the red pen he used, and he noticed his and Karkat's red and grey writing started to fill the page.

 _That's ironic, since you literally just said you didn't want to hear my origin story, but that's fine. No one can resist trying to chat up a Strider, and learn about his home life. Really, don't be embarrassed, it's happened countless times. Still, I'll indulge you on the juicy details, so buckle the fuck up and get ready to go on this origin story ride. When a mommy and daddy love each other very much, they decide to get their freaky shit on and have two children. One is my older brother, who's my legal guardian, and the other is this awesomeness known as me. After living a lavish life of moving random places around America, older bro decides to settle down and actually buy a house. Problem is, he decides to move in within a day, and it's all the way up in Washington State. So, we got in yesterday morning around ten. Somehow, my bro got me enrolled here. I don't know how, and I don't really care either, I'm just trying out the school thing after doing homeschool for like, my entire life._

He saw Karkat read his note, and noticed his eyebrows scrunch more as he wrote his response. He even started out a new sheet of paper, which was nice, because things were getting crowded on Dave's.

I'm going to ignore the first five half amusing and half pathetic excuses for sentences you just wrote at me. That said, I'm pretty sure it's not a possible thing to enroll a student one day before they enter class, especially two days into a school year. Whatever though, I don't care what likely illegal strings your older brother pulled to spawn your shit eating grin in a chair right next to me for the remainder of the school year, so long as you attempt not to make my life more of the miserable shit I live through every day. So, take your little 'Strider swag' deal you've got going on and don't fucking bother me with it, okay? From the way they acted when you introduced yourself, I'm sure that there's thousands of fuckwads in this building that would be crawling over themselves in hoards to entertain your ass.

Dave rolled his eyes before writing his response.

 _Oh wow, he said I had Swag, what an honor. But trust me, I'm aware. Here- I'll tell you what, if you can resist me, I'll tear myself away from the poetic grace of your words. Be warned though, no one can resist the charm, it's part of the curse of being my perfect self. I wouldn't expect the commoners to understand, but hopefully you can rise to the challenge of understanding my level of awesomeness._

What the fuck did I just read? No wonder all these assholes are fawning over you, you talk yourself up so much that you're just as hopeless as the rest of these drama obsessed dimwits. I physically cannot comprehend your level of vanity, and it's clear despite your looks and quote unqote lavish lifestyle, you're more insecure than any of the people here. I hate to be the one to break the bad news, Mr. 'perfect', but this high platform of popularity you've pulled yourself up to is as pathetic as the sunglasses you're clearly using to hide your emotions behind. Either that, or your brother just pulled you out of the 80's when actual intellectuals instead of this mouth breathing herd of cows known as high school students thought wearing sunglasses inside was cool. Whichever way, it's a pathetic act to hide yourself that's painfully easy to see through. Now, can you stop passing me notes, and go have your stupid late teen crisis?

 _See, that's what makes you a thousand times more entertaining than the idiots that talk like what I just did. But seriously, calm your tits. I was just being a little ironic for conversation's sake, no need to go analyze my existence. In case you didn't realize it, I'm bored too, and the people I've seen crawling on me in an attempt to popularize me or throw me in an unironic clique are definitely not the type of idiots I need to be fraternizing myself with. I do, however, need a distraction from this guy who's squawking at us, and our little exchange seemed to be an option. If it's that emotionally taxing for you though, you can just stop passing me notes. Before that though, could you tell me when we get out of here, so I know how many more minutes I need to sit through this for until I can actually go do something I enjoy?_

Dave saw Karkat's eyebrows lift in surprise as he read the words, and apparently Dave had done something pleasing, because the boy's lips turned up from a smirk into a little smile. He wrote out his response far less furiously than before, and Dave read it.

You clearly don't know the meaning of the word ironic, but I'll take your word for it, Strider. We get out at 3:30, in like five minutes. Still though, if you think the shit you spouted at me before was irony, you probably should be paying attention to what Mr. English has to say. You're right though, this has been a pleasant enough distraction from that guy's constant words.

Dave read it and allowed himself to show a little smile too, before responding.

 _Hey, Stfu man, I am the definition of the word ironic. Also, are you saying his name is Mr. English, he has his horrible, batshit English accent, and he even speaks English, but he fucking teaches biology?_

Dave asked, in note form, and Karkat rolled his eyes as he wrote out his response.

Wow, I must have hit a sensitive spot. About the teacher though, I know his accent is awful, and I've dealt with this shit for years. It sounds fake, but it's not, he just talks like that. If he did teach English, that would actually be ironic, Strider. There, that's probably the first thing you've learned today, so congratu-fucking-lations.

 _Well, I learned that the angry kid that sits next to me is a surprisingly fast writer, considering how shitty of an artist he is._

Karkat's response came just as the bell rang. He put it on Dave's desk and didn't wait for him as he walked out of the room. Dave smirked, and looked back at John, who missed their entire exchange, then read the paper.

Shut the fuck up, Strider. Oh, and see you tomorrow.

AN: Hey, guys. There's chapter 2, with Karkat added in as well, because he's an important character now too. Yes, John did just completely ignore the entire note exchange that happened in front of him, because he really was focused on what the English biology teacher had to say.


	3. Chapter 3

JAFNF Chapter 3

(Wednesday, August 4th)

John shivered a little. Even late summer seemed cold in Washington. He put his stuff away, and after making sure everything was somewhere in his backpack, he saw Dave standing over him. It still sent a thrill through John, when he realized his best friend was there, in the flesh, and undoubtedly as cool as he expected. Especially when he saw Dave wearing the same pair of sunglasses he'd given him for his thirteenth birthday. John tried to keep a giggle to himself when he remembered that he'd offered Dave the gift ironically, but Dave took it seriously anyway. For all his coolness and easy popularity, Dave Strider was a huge dork, and John was one of the four people that knew it. It made him a little less worried about impressing Dave, which was nice.

"You ready to go, Egdork?" Dave asked, and John stood, hefting his backpack with him. He took the nickname easily, and didn't offer any complaints.

"Yep!" His voice was sunny, until he considered a potential problem. "Wait, do you know how to get to the carpool lane?" John asked, and Dave seemed to think about it.

"No idea. Lead the way, John." He said, and John did. Before exiting, he told Mr. English goodbye, and thanked him for teaching them that day. The man gave him a cheerful response, and John led his friend outside. What they found was at least a few hundred students, all milling around and waiting for cars or getting in their own. Dave frowned. "I'll find Bro's car. This is a shit ton of people." Dave said, and John put his hand in a 'meh' motion.

"It's about average. You said he drove a red truck, right?" John asked, and Dave nodded. "Oh, is it that one?" He pointed to a car in a parking space, and Dave realized it was.

"Yeah, let's go." Dave ran out, and John scrambled to catch up to his friend.

"Wait, Dave, you can't just run in the street!" John shouted, but Dave paid no attention. There were about ten cars and a disgruntled administrator in a yellow vest (school funded crossing guard) in his way. Dave parkoured over, around, and under all of them, even scoring a high-five from a newly distressed/impressed driver. John saw his epic best friend, but just walked on the crosswalk instead. Dave naturally reached his brother's vehicle first, and only offered John a casual smirk when John reached the destination as well.

"Cool, right?" Dave asked, and John's eyes bulged from his head as he replayed Dave's dangerous stunts in his mind. He was sure that everyone saw Dave leap over moving cars or backflip sideways, while keeping his sunglasses on. He wasn't sure if he was supposed to be amazed or keel over from worry about the danger Dave just put himself (and others, high school students weren't the best of drivers.) in.

"No! I mean, yeah, but no, you could have been hurt! Geez Dave, you scared me." His words surprised Dave, and the vampire realized John probably wasn't used to seeing how casually hardcore he was in person.

"Oh man, sorry John. I promise I was fine though, and I've done worse." The blue eyed boy crossed his arms, but sighed.

"It's fine, but just be careful, okay? I don't want you to die after your first day of school, before we even got to hang out." John said, and Dave's tone softened immediately.

"Sorry, Egdork, I promise I won't die on my first day of school." He apologized, and John accepted it. The human boy's mouth twitched, and the corner of it rose into a little smile.

"Yeah, Dave. I want to be able to hang out with you, and I can't do it if you're dead." He paused, and looked up at Dave. "But… that was pretty cool." John admitted, and Dave smirked.

"Of course it was. But speaking of hanging out, you should enter the Strider express." Dave said, and he held the door open for his friend. He moved to the other side of the car and let himself in, then John saw Dave's older brother.

The first thing that hit him was the music. John couldn't actually tell if it was a strange talk show host screaming, or dubstep. Either way, it was one of the most foreign sounding things he'd ever heard, and it was only noticeable when he stepped inside Dirk's truck. The seating itself was comfortably nice, and the glass was clear. John's eyes trailed up the dashboard until he saw him- Dave's older brother.

"Uh, hi Mr. Strider. I'm, uh, John. Dave invited me over." He explained, and the man raised an eyebrow behind his anime sunglasses.

"Hello, John." He addressed him immediately, then spoke to his sibling, his tone odd. "Dave, why is your friend suddenly coming home with you after we literally got here today?" The man said it like he was trying not to scold his sibling, and while John realized that Dave hadn't told his older sibling he was taking John home, which had the potential to be a problem. As John thought about it more, he felt like he'd just intruded on Dave about to get in trouble. Still, John wasn't asked to step out of the car or anything, so he assumed that things were okay, at least for now.

"It's been twenty eight hours, actually. We didn't get here today." Dave responded smartly, and Dirk's voice turned flat.

"Whatever. Why is, uh, John, here?" He questioned, his voice straining to sound pleasant. In response, Dave turned to his friend.

"John, what were your plans for when you came home today, before I invited you?" He asked, and John didn't have to think about it.

"Well, I guess I would just study and get on pester chum." John replied, wondering where Dave was going with this. At those words, Dave spoke up triumphantly.

"See? All he would have done is talk to me anyway, bro!" Dave responded confidently, leaving out the part about studying. "I'm just saving him some time." The elder strider just frowned, and you could hear it in his voice.

"You haven't unpacked anything to do." He responded reasonably, and John saw Dave cross his arms.

"Then we'll just chill out, or something. I just happened to find my best friend in the world from the internet in my 7th period, we should be able to hang out." Dave said, and sighed. "So, can we go now?" He asked, and Dirk clearly didn't like it, but he put his hands on the wheel.

"Buckle up." He said, and Dave rolled his eyes behind his sunglasses, but buckled. John did the same, and Dirk began to drive.

The conversation was nonexistent in the vehicle, and John reflected in the relative silence of the truck. It was weird- no, crazy, that John was in the car, with Dave. He was sitting next to Dave, who was his best friend from thousands of miles away, and going towards his completely new house. After all, he should be walking home right now. Of course, walking home usually entailed a meeting with Karkat and Caliborn, and usually the latter of the two would shove him against things in whatever alleyway they located him. John frowned as he thought about it, then realized he was getting upset, and attempted to forget it and immerse himself in the car's loud music instead. Of course, Dave spoke up, forcing John to focus on his words.

"Bro, could you turn this crap you call music down? It's making the car shake." He said, exaggerating a little. John was sure he'd get in trouble at that, but the older strider, Dirk, only responded with a smirk.

"Why would I do that? You don't turn down your dj stuff from your room. Don't think I forgot last week's…incident." John could hear how amused the man was with his tone as he emphasized the last word, and despite his usual dedication to a stoic face, Dave clearly got embarrassed.

"Hey man, I thought you were asleep! Don't bring that up!" Dave responded indignantly, only to receive a laugh from his older brother. Instead of turning the music down, Dirk clearly showed Dave that he turned it up by one increment. John didn't hear a difference, but it caused Dave to fume until they reached the house.

As they neared the driveway, Dave's brother opened the garage, and Dave took that as a response to exit the car. The only issue, however, was the fact that the car was still in motion. Still, Dave heeded the danger no mind as he opened the door and jumped out, then closed the door in a fluid motion. John glued his face to the now closed door of the truck, wondering if his friend was alright.

"Dave, what was that? You just said you wouldn't die before we got to hang out, and I don't think the car ride here counts." Once the car stopped, Dave stood at John's door, and opened it for him when his friend spoke. In response, Dave just shrugged and offered his friend a grin. Unfortunately, Dirk couldn't help but butt in.

"Quit showing off Dave, just go inside if you're THAT excited to be home." He responded. Dave just rolled his eyes in response.

"Oh please. I'm not showing off, I'm just better." He said, and at that statement, John couldn't help himself.

"Oh Snap!" He blurted out, before any common sense allowed him to stop. Both Strider brothers just stared at him, and as the realization of what he'd said hit him, John had to resist the urge to melt into a puddle of embarrassment and die. Suddenly, Dave burst out in laughter at the sheer unexpectedness of John's words, and the older Strider did the same. John breathed out a small sigh of relief as he felt the tension leave him. The laughter died down quickly enough though, and Dirk smirked at his younger sibling before speaking.

"So, you think you're better, huh? Beat this." He said, and in less than the blink of an eye, he was standing in an unlocked doorway, a triumphant smirk on his face. Dirk smirked knowingly, and Dave just deflated in defeat, all while John looked back and forth between the two.

"Woah, what just happened?" He asked despite himself, and Dirk grinned at him as he walked towards the door.

"I flash stepped, kid." John's eyes widened.

"Wait, flash stepping? I thought they only did that in animes." John noted, looking at the older brother as if he were inhuman. Dirk winked, and smirked.

"I am Anime." John made a noise of approval, though he wasn't sure if it was a joke or not. He let himself be led inside anyway, along with Dave. Dave looked a little miffed, but John didn't notice, his attentions focused on the house around them. It looked so un-Strider like to him. The house was as plain as one could get- white picket fence, white house, trimmed hedges. The only thing that was different was the home's flat roof, and they even managed to make that look perfectly normal. It was like Dave lived in a perfectly generic cube.

"Okay." Dirk said, pulling John out of his thoughts suddenly as he turned towards the two boys. "There's swords, juice, and Pizza now in the fridge. I'll be on my floor, you two can figure out what to do. Bye." He said, then opened a doorway and disappeared behind it. Dave just looked away and stared at John behind his sunglasses. After closing the door, Dave waved an arm around in the general area of the home. John noticed a living room, and tons of boxes everywhere.

"This is the Strider house. Bask in its unpacked amazingness, Egbert. We can chill by the TV, or do whatever else is unpacked." John nodded, then looked away from his friend.

"Uh, thanks for inviting me over." He said shyly, suddenly feeling out of place. He didn't know what to do or say, even though conversation tended to just happen with Dave on pesterchum, he suddenly felt clammy and awkward in real life. John's change in demeanor seemed to hit Dave too, but of course, the blonde didn't show it.

"Yeah, 'Bert. No problem." He responded, not as automatically as he would have liked. John wasn't sure if he was going to say something else, and they had an awkward silence for all of three seconds until John forced himself to say something.

"You nicknamed my last name? That's a thing people do?" John asked, and Dave just shrugged in response.

"I don't know man, it can be a thing we do." He said, trying not to be awkward (he was cool, not awkward, gog), then led John towards the living room.

"Yeah, okay, Stri." John tried, and Dave let out a shudder.

"No, never mind. I'll just call you Egbert, sheesh." John laughed a little at that, and stopped to look at the various stacks of boxes in their home. He paused for a minute to inspect some of their writing, but found it to be indecipherable. After a few minutes of staring, trying to identify the language, Dave came over to him. "I doubt you can read this stuff. It's some of my brother's robot coding." John reluctantly walked away from the strange words, then followed his friend.

"Okay, so what are we going to do?" John asked, looking at the only item of technology that was unpacked. Of course, this was their television, and their remote sat on the coffee table.

"We could sit around and watch my little pony ironically, then talk about your awful movie tastes." John looked at him quizzically.

"That…was oddly specific, Dave." His blonde friend, in turn, just collapsed on the couch, then placed his feet atop the table.

"Would you believe I had a dream about that once?" Dave asked, and John had to stifle a laugh.

"In your dreams, Dave." John responded cheekily, and Dave groaned in response.

"I thought that was just something you did in text, don't tell me you actually say that pun shit." John just laughed a little and looked away nonchalantly.

"Sorry Dave, I just saw an opportunity and went for it. Still, good Idea." John paused. "And my movie tastes aren't bad!" Dave snickered a little at that.

"Says the guy who watches Matthew Mcconaughey." John gasped, and prepared himself for his rant, with evidence, about why that particular actor was so skilled at everything. Dave put up his hands before he could start. "Woah, kidding Egbert! I already got the lecture." Dave said, then casually turned on the television. He selected the first episode of Friendship is Magic he could find, and watched as they launched into their iconic theme. After the song ended, Dave noticed his friend standing.

"John, you know you can sit down, right?" He asked, and John paused for a second, then nodded and joined him on the sofa. "Actually, wait. Do you want to take off your sweatshirt?" His friend asked, a question that John could only respond to after a confused little blink.

"What? Why?" He asked, and Dave shrugged.

"You look hot." He said, then immediately rephrased. "No, I mean, I'm dying in this long sleeve thing, and I used to live in Texas, so I know hot when I see it and you're definitely- wait!" He cut himself off again. "Okay, forget everything I just said." Dave spoke, trying to salvage what was left of his coolness. "Do you need to take off your sweatshirt? It's really warm in here." John laughed a little nervously, but declined.

"No, I'm cold blooded, so I'm always cold." He responded. Dave gave him a look, but laid off the topic. After a few minutes of watching the show in relative silence, John asked Dave a question. "Okay, so why is everyone else at least one different color, but this pony is all pink?" He asked, pointing at a bouncing blur of pink on screen. Before Dave could respond, a voice from behind the pair spoke up.

"Because Pinkie Pie can do what she wants- also, it's in the name." The voice said, and John jumped in his seat. He turned and found Dirk, Dave's guardian, towering over him. "Dave, could you come to the kitchen?" He asked, his tone making it clear that it was not a question. Dave frowned, but agreed.

"Okay, I will, but only because I can get some more juice this way." He said, then began to stand. John looked at his friend's retreating form.

"Uh, Dave? Where's your bathroom?" He asked suddenly, and Dave chuckled a little.

"Down that hallway, second door on the right." He responded, and John thanked him and walked quickly in that direction. Dave turned around, and then set his jaw in its usual stoic fashion. He didn't necessarily want to have this talk with his brother, but he knew he had to have it. Dave made sure his face was the same as usual, and then entered the kitchen.

"AN": Hey! Okay, so this is like the tenth time I'm editing this, Geez. Also, a warning for future chapters, which doesn't really apply yet: I know, John's Dad really cares about him in canon, but this was changed in this story to add to the plot line. And, uh, as a version of me that's finished writing this story, let me tell you- it gets wild. And I don't know if their interactions came out as purposely awkward as I would have liked, but awkwardness was the idea here.


	4. Chapter 4

JAFNF Chapter 4

(Wednesday, August 4th)

Shit. That's all Dave could think about as he entered the kitchen. Not apple juice, not his nerdy friend, just how much deep shit he was wading in today. Actually, he took that euphemism back. It sounded disgusting. Either way, he knew when his brother called him into the kitchen, their talk wouldn't be good. Dave walked into the kitchen, and by walked, he meant that he took five steps from his living room onto the chessboard-patterned floor of their light blue kitchen. The area had what he assumed was normal kitchen stuff, which included various appliances, cabinets, and their refrigerator. Speaking of the refrigerator, Dave wanted some apple juice, but he felt far too nervous to actually go get the stuff.

"Dave." Dirk's voice said, and Dave had to resist the urge to cringe. Instead, he over compensated, and his response was extra loud.

"What?" He asked, and immediately his guardian looked towards the couch. Thankfully, John was still in the bathroom.

"Keep your voice down!" He said, his voice barely above a whisper. Dave rolled his eyes behind his shades, but spoke quietly.

"Whatever." He responded, then allowed his brother to continue.

"Okay, I really didn't want to be rude to your friend, but why the hell did you think it was a good idea to bring a human in here? I let you out of the house for like, seven hours and you return with your geeky internet friend? That's some shitty responsibility Dave." His guardian spoke, and Dave frowned. Dirk's tone changed."I mean, I kind of get it. He's the first contact you've had with someone that's your age, but is the best course of action really to bring him to our house? You know you shouldn't bring people in here." Dirk said, his voice stern. At that, Dave folded his arms and stared at his older sibling.

"Why can't I? Shouldn't I get this much freedom? Besides, you bring people in our house all the time , or at least you did in Texas. How is this any different?" The boy asked, looking through his shades defiantly.

"It's different with you. I have to protect you! Is that not clear?" The older one asked, now glaring through his sunglasses as well.

"Oh, right. You have to protect me because I'm a 'pureblood'. You know, I'm a person too! Hell, I wish I could be human, like you! I fucking hate being a vampire." Dave failed to notice the bubbling anger behind his brother's usual collected façade.

"Shut up Dave." The man said seriously, and Dave felt guilty enough not to respond. He knew he'd gone a little too far with this, but in true Strider fashion, Dirk didn't confront him about it. Instead, he merely silenced the boy, but even a response like that was enough for Dave to realize what he'd done. "It is my job to take care of you, understand? That's the one thing our parents told me to do before hunters fucking killed them, in an attempt to kill you! You being protected is what our fucking dead mom and dad wanted, so I'm going to protect you. Unfortunately, I can't actually take care of you if you fuck yourself over by walking into the arms of a hunter. You know that, I know that, so I don't know what your fucking problem is." Dirk responded testily. Dave huffed. His parents died before he was old enough to remember them, but it did make him feel a little guilty for breaking some unspoken but obvious rules in their house. Dave knew the dangers of letting random people into his house. They could easily be tracked by hunters, or be hunters themselves. But this was John. He'd been Dave's closest friend in the world for years, meaning that there was no way that Dave would pass up an opportunity to finally hang out with him. So, he refuted Dirk's words, not because they were inherently wrong, but because he didn't want to lose the opportunity to be friends with John. Besides, Dave could probably convince Dirk that John was a safe person to let in.

"Whatever. You know, there's only like a thousand hunters in the entire world, and like 90 billion werewolves and vampires and shit. So, excuse me if I want to invite a friend over!" Dave said. Dirk's voice, in turn, became level again.

"Well, want to hear something funny?" Dirk asked, only receiving a poker face from Dave in response. "Here's something hilarious. There are like 90 billion monsters or whatever, but you want to know something? There are only four pureblood vampires in the entire world, and you're one of them. So excuse me from trying to stop you from letting hunters on our trail!" Dave tried to speak, but Dirk continued. "And before you say they could hunt other purebloods, let me remind you that you're the easiest one to get. Out of the current purebloods that are alive, one of them is like, crazy or something, another is an old fucker, one is normal, and one is you! However, at least the old one and the normal one have each other and they get their crazy vampire shit. You know what you have? Your gigantic support team includes some inexperienced guy running around, trying to hide his dumbass of a brother from some insane murderers." Dirk's voice actually sounded eerily calm, and Dave's arms flew outwards in his desperation to make his brother understand.

"But that's not my fault! I was born into all of this, not bitten. I didn't ask for it." Dave became quieter now, and his gaze turned towards the ground as he crossed his arms again. "I don't want to be a vampire, bro. Screw the "powers", I don't care about them. I just… want to be normal for once." Dave admitted, and Dirk's face didn't change, but his posture did slightly. At least Dave's words had some effect. Dirk's voice turned a little sympathetic.

"Dave. I know you didn't ask for this. I didn't either- but I'm trying to help you out here, man. You know I'm just trying to keep you safe. Even settling down here feels like a risk, but I know you wanted to try school before you turn eighteen. I've already bent rules, and we got really close to being caught in Texas. I know the council says there's no reported hunters in the state, but they could be wrong. It's dangerous for you, everywhere. I wish I could take you somewhere where you could live normally, but this is the most I know how to do. You know, I'm trying too." He said, and sighed. Dirk seemed legitimately sorry, but also didn't seem willing to change. At that realization, Dave stopped trying to argue. It was pointless anyway, and Dave already knew he was right. They were silent for a bit, until Dave heard a flushing noise. The two needed to finish this conversation, now.

"Fine. I won't bring anyone over." He amended, but continued. "But I'm still going to school and being friends with John! He's been my best friend for years, even through all the crazy vampire shit. I deserve that much, at least." Dave said, and Dirk seemed to be okay with at least continuing school. "Please though- think about me hanging out with him, please. He's my best friend." He said, and with a sigh, Dirk promised he'd think about it, and that was final. Both sensed that the conversation was kind of over, so Dave abruptly turned and walked back to the couch. As he entered, John walked back from the bathroom. Instead of commenting on his friend's lack of a bathroom mirror, John frowned at his friend.

"Dude, you suck at directions." John said, crossing his sweatshirt covered arms. Dave raised an eyebrow behind his sunglasses, his casual demeanor back.

"What?"

"Your bathroom was not on the second door to the right. It was on the left, Dave, and four doors down." John said, rolling his eyes. Dave wanted to respond sarcastically, but his brother cleared his throat behind the two, and everything fell silent.

"Sorry you two, but I have to go. Even though I work at a night club, they need me to start my set up now." Dirk said, and John nodded. It was time for him to go, yet he didn't feel like he'd overstayed his welcome or anything. Dave just sighed in response, then clicked the remote on the TV. Really, the nightclub was a good lie. No one would background check him or ask about his "profession", and it explained why Dirk was home all day. While he actually preferred building robots (and running from hunters), it was nice to have a cover job.

"Alright. It was nice to have you over John, maybe the next time we hang out, we can do something that's actually interesting." He said, then stood from the couch he'd recently sat on. John immediately grabbed his backpack from earlier, then slung the heavy item over his back, lumberjack style.

"No problem, thank you for having me over." He said, addressing the two brothers. Dirk nodded, making it clear that he understood, then spoke up again.

"I can drive you home, John." Dirk said, and John immediately froze. Dave, who'd been looking away in slight disinterest, looked up at his friend in surprise. How did he suddenly get so tense? John immediately unfroze though, and offered one of his (slightly) bucktoothed smiles.

"Actually, If you could just drive me back to school, that would be great." John said, and Dave stared at him from behind his shades. Dave could feel that he was uncomfortable, and nervous. John wasn't exactly the best at hiding his emotions, but now it was clear that he was trying anyway. If Dirk noticed, he didn't care. Instead, the man just shrugged, deciding against asking questions. It wasn't as if he was a nosy or particularly caring person, so he just held the keys on his finger. Immediately, the three males piled into the car, then Dave started up the truck.

John relaxed after a minute. No questions asked- that was nice. After looking at the vehicle for a few seconds, he realized it didn't have a rearview mirror. Instead, the car had little cameras that displayed footage from behind the car. John found it cool, but instead of looking into it more, he absentmindedly pulled out his phone while the car drove on. The two Striders were arguing about something- probably the car's music volume- but John found something else that captivated his interest. He had a new pesterchum, and it was from a pink typing stranger.

TipsyGonalgist (TG) began pestering Ecto Biologist. (EB)

TG: John!

TG: Johnny boy, we need to tlak!

TG: *Talk, sorry

EB: Uh, hello? Who is this?

EB: How do you know my name?

TG: Ssssh John!

TG: Don't worry, Im on the cass

TG: *Case

EB: Uh…

TG: Don't send a ellipisis at me Johnny boy

TG:* Ellipsis

TG: Ill tell you more when youre alone

TipsyGonalgist (TG) ceased pestering Ecto Biologist. (EB)

John stared at his phone uncomprehendingly. After reading over their conversation again, John shivered. He was innerved. The amount of information this person knew about him was alarming, yet he couldn't do much about it except for waiting for more information. John knew that it could have been one of Caliborn's pranks, but this was too specific. The teenager immediately replaced the phone in his pocket, then wanted to share the experience with his friend. Unfortunately, they'd already pulled up to the school, and he pulled his backpack onto his back.

"Thank you!" He said, and the older brother nodded. Dave actually spoke to him, wishing him a fairly standard sendoff.

"Thanks for chilling man, even if it was like, super short. I'll see you later, right?" Dave asked, and John immediately nodded.

"Uh, of course. I mean, we have biology together so- yeah. I'll see you tomorrow." John said. The blonde vampire nodded, and the two brothers rolled away in their car. John breathed a sigh of relief. He finally faced a meeting with one of his friends, and John felt like he'd accomplished something that day.

TipsyGonalgist (TG) began pestering Ecto Biologist. (EB)

TG: Whew!

John hesitantly looked down at his phone, and the strange person form earlier spoke to him again. He felt seriously uncomfortable, and looked around cautiously for any people before he looked again.

TG: I thought they'd never leave.

TG: *never

EB: Okay, you're kind of weird.

EB: Who are you? Is this a prank?

TG: I'm roxy the irl vampire huntrss

TG:*Huntres

TG: Dangit

EB: Ha, ha. Okay, now really, who are you?

TG: I'm Roxy! Cab you hear me now?

TG: *Can

John just shook his head and closed his phone. Roxy the vampire huntress sounded like some sort of twilight fangirl. The odds were that she was some 13 year old that thought they were funny, but it still unnerved him. After all, her texting had been creepily timed. The idea that she was watching him- well, whoever she was, he hoped that she would stop. John didn't even know why some creeper was coming after him, but he felt like he should at least tell one of his friends.

GardenGnostic (GG) began pestering EctoBiologist (EB)

GG: Hey John!

GG: Are you there?

GG: I guess not

GG: Reply when you can!

Apparently, fate wanted him to tell Jade. John felt bad for not talking to her all day, but at least the two had more to talk about now.

EB: Hello Jade!

GG: Oh! Hey!

EB: Guess what!

GG: What?

EB: Dave moved in a few minutes away from me

EB: And we didn't even know it!

GG: What?!

GG: Now you guys will party without me

EB: Aww, Jade!

GG: Kidding! That sounds like fun!

EB: Yeah, it will be!

EB: Oh, one sec

GG: Okay!

John smiled. Talking to Jade always made him feel a little happier. Knowing that she wanted to talk to him made him happy, even if she was thousands of miles away on a remote island. They'd known each other for years, and John was glad that he had her as a friend. Unfortunately, these notifications from a different pesterchum didn't seem to stop coming, so John switched tabs back to the self proclaimed 'huntress'."

TG: Joooooooohnnny booy!

TG: Don't close your phone on me :(

EB: Seriously, what do you want?

TG: Aww John, I just missed you!

EB: …

TG: No seriously though,

TG: Stay away from Dave

TG: He's bad news John

John frowned. Enough was enough. This girl could randomly stalk him all she wanted,(well, okay, she couldn't actually) but the idea that she could find out about his personal life and police him about it- well, he was done with her game.

EB: Do we know you?

TG: No

TG: But you will

EB: I don't want to. Leave us alone, 'vampire huntress'.

TG: Don't worry, we'll talk again Johnny

TG: * mysterious exit*

TipsyGonalgist (TG) ceased pestering Ecto Biologist.

John groaned and immediately blocked the stranger. He wasn't sure if she was watching him, or just hacking his phone, but he knew he wanted it to stop. John read over their conversation again. He still couldn't figure out why Dave was 'bad news', but he wanted to talk to his friend about it. It was possible that this was a part of some scheme to mess with him, but John wasn't sure. Unfortunately, John couldn't do much about it now, and he'd already missed an important meeting. He could think about Roxy when he got home.

* * *

AN: Hi guys! Again, all thanks to Saltymastermemester for letting me write this. I enjoy it! The amount of pesterlogs in this chapter was a little undesirable, but hopefully I can shorten it later.


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